HaveAnAenima (haveanaenima) wrote,

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Semper... fi? PFFT!!!!!

Over this past week I had an odd run in with the marines. I am not in trouble or anything... don't worry about that. I probably could have wound up in trouble though, I am glad I didn't. Well anyway, on with my mockery.

You know how it was really windy this past week? Well on Thursday (My day off from school) my power was knocked out from all of the wind. When I don't have electricity I become incredibly bored and I almost NEED to find things to do. I was trying to find things to keep myself occupied. I took a shower to kill some time and I even cleaned my room a little. The bad part of this was my mother borrowed my car that day so I couldn't go anywhere either. What were the odds eh? Well after I was all cleaned from the shower and just sitting around listening to my portable cd player the phone rings. (The phones were still working and the phone in my room isn't cordless) I say to myself "YES" some form of entertainment. I answer the phone and it happens to be a Marine recruiter. I figure I can just mess with him for a while for some entertainment. He begins to ask me a few questions. Dumb questions like "Have you ever thought about joining the military?" "How old are you?" "Are you interested in the marines?". I gave him all lower toned true answers. For about half an hour I speak to this recruiter about the marines. Over the whole conversation he must have asked me to come to the recruitment office about 12 times. Eventually he said "Alright, if you don't come down I'll just come down to your house". At this point I don't know what to say... I can't really tell This decorated Marine "No you can't come to my house." I decide to tell him I will go to the Marine recruitment place to get some information. Oddly I was genuinely interested in learning more about the marines. I wouldn't join but I figured I should know more about the service anyway. The recruiter and I make an appointment to meet at 2:30 p.m. on friday (Right after my classes of the day). He agress to the time and hangs up.

The next morning I wake up and my mother starts asking me if I made an appointment somewhere. I tell her about the marines and she says "Oh alright, well they called to confirm your appointment for 4:30." I didn't make an appointment for 4:30 though; I wasn't going to go home and sit there for two hours and have to leave again to go somewhere I wasn't too thrilled about anyway. I call the office back and tell them it was for 2:30 and they must have gotten it wrong. They agree and tell me to come in at 2:30. (This is where the story becomes fun)

After I get out of class I go to the mall (The office is attached to the outside of the mall). I was about 25 minutes early so I walked through the mall a little. I stopped in suncoast and picked up the movie "Hellraiser: Bloodline", (great movie for those of you who have not seen it) after that I decide to just show up 8 minutes early to the office. I walk to the office and I am automatically greeted by a private. (I forget his name; I didn't care to know it anyway). He shakes my hand and begins asking me a few questions. He informs me that the recruiter is on his way and will be there in 15 minutes so I decided to stay and wait, I was there anyway. he just talks to me for a little and asks me what high school I went to and such. He seemed really... for lack of a better word slow. He wasn't very bright. I was making fun of him so much and I could tell he wasn't catching on. I started asking him some good questions like "why are the marines the best?" and "What kind of benefits do the marines provide for service". His answer to the "best question" was "Because we're the toughest mother fuckers". This answer did not impress me. I say to him "Alright but besides that why are you the best?" The private responds "Because... here is an example, the other day I ran into an old marine and he bought me lunch, and that is why we're the best" This answer had to be one of the dumbest things I have heard come out of anyone’s mouth. I want to know why the organization is good and he gives me the dumbest bullshit reasons he can think of. I suppose it's because he doesn't HAVE a reason for being the best. After all the legitimate questions I asked him a lot of weird questions like "Are the women in the marines hot" and "If someone is found out to be gay in the marines, what would happen to them?". I wanted to see if he would keep a straight face and oddly enough he did for the most part. I will say he was very friendly. Eventually the recruiter calls and says he is running late and he will be 15 more minutes. I decided to stay anyway I figured how late could he be? He's a Marine... right? He also told the private to make me take some test. I refused to take it. I had to argue with him for about 10 minutes about it. He finally gave up (Because i was having fun arguing anyway) and I got out of taking the stupid exam to see if I qualify for the marines. I know I would pass it anyway.

At this point I am wondering why the hell I'm staying but I didn't say anything. I am also wondering how long it is going to take him to catch on to me mocking him. He never did... I'm very glad he didn't too because he was much bigger than myself. I eventually got very bored and started asking the private what kind of music he liked. After I was done bashing his music other appointments started coming in. At this point I just want to leave but I am a little uncomfortable so I didn't say anything and I just sat there. At this point am thinking the marines are a bunch of low life, scum pieces of shit. It's been about an hour and a half and I am getting really annoyed. The recruiter hasn't even called in the past half an hour. I am pissed now. I wait 15 more minutes and 2 more appointments walk in. Now 4 people are waiting for this recruiter. I decide to finally open my mouth to the private and say "Hey I've been here for almost 2 hours and he hasn't shown up, I'm going to leave". He begins to bitch to me "Aww please stay like 15 more minutes" I say "I stayed an extra 2 hours already, he said 15 minutes about an hour and a half ago, I'm leaving, goodbye" and I walk out. As I am walking out I see a man in a marine uniform run by me, it must have been the recruiter. At this point I am so pissed I don't care anymore and I walk by and just go to my car. How could a marine be so late? I wasn't impressed with the marines at all. My advice is DO NOT JOIN THE MARINES!!! They are all morons. They are not the best. They did not impress me. I would never join their organization. If you join I hope you die in combat from a piece of shrapnel that flies through your balls, you get captured and thrown into a cell and die from the infections on your sac.

My theory on all this is that THEY SCREWED ME. That's why the mother fucker changed the appointment to 4:30; he decided he couldn't do it at 2:30 because he didn't want to be there. They agreed to have me come in at 2:30 and they figured I would just wait. That had to be what they did. Fucking assholes. I hope the marines has wide spread AIDS move through their whole organization from all the anal they have with each other. They ruined my whole day and I don't get many days off. He could have just said "I can't make it at that time, we have to make another appointment", that would have worked much better than wasting my day. Here is my final sentence. THE MARINES ARE A POOR MILITARY ORGANIZATION!!!
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